Progress Report: Week 52

Happy New Year! But it's also another important milestone for me...

It's my one year anniversary since my surgery! This is quite a big accomplishment. What a difference a year makes. A year ago I was in the hospital sick as a dog from the morphine. About to go home and not shower for two weeks. Barely move around my house. Yikes!

I am doing so much better. I still am not 100%. But I'm in the 80s or 90s I'd guess. Probably 90s. Lately having some minor aches and sciatica, but nothing bad enough to take advil for. So that's a good sign. With winter and the holidays, I've slacked off on my walking and exercising routine, which is probably why I'm having a little trouble. I always do so much better after I walk. It's when I don't exercise that I get sore -- counter-intuitive I know.

I am still slightly numb on my "bad foot," in the baby toe and in a spot on the underside of the foot. No where near like it was last year. The surgeon told me it'd take a year to clear up. I suspect it might be nerve damage. It isn't badly numb, but the numbness just never completely goes away. My limping is completely gone and has been for 9 or 10 months. I am doing pretty great overall, I gotta say.

Last year this time my new year's resolution was to just get through the healing process. I was so afraid the surgery hadn't worked since I didn't see instant improvement like so many anonymous people on the internet claim to see. That's OK, it worked. I'm glad I did it.

My resolution this year will be to strengthen my back. My physical therapist advised me to avoid high impact and weights for at least a year. It's been a year but I'm not ready to go back to that yet. I plan on doing a lot of low impact stuff like continuing to walk and swim, and to do exercises to strengthen my back muscles. I feel weak there, I probably am. I also want to take a "yoga for a healthy back" type of class this year. Where I used to do high impact aerobics and elliptical machines, I now plan to work on resistance type stuff like yoga and pilates. Perhaps a balance ball or something. Get more use out of that gym membership I won't cancel.

It's so weird to think about how upset I was a year ago. I really was not 110% sure I was making the right decision to have surgery, since my pain had leased (but my limp had worsened). I made the right decision. I am so much better than I would have been had I tried to wait for it to heal on it's own. Not to mention I'd probably always have a limp. So I am glad I did it.

What a year it's been. I've learned a lot of things about myself, about surgery, about backs, about chronic pain. I hope that by taking charge of my health and weight I can avoid future back problems. Working on it, anyway. Here's to a healthy back in 2010!

Two Steps Back

Well, I was just lifting up some huge plastic storage containers outside of my house and moving them around. I knew I didn't need to lift them -- how heavy were they, anyway? 10, 15, 20 lbs? -- but I was in a hurry and trying to clean something up quickly. Well, that was 45 minutes ago and I am feeling it, buddy. My toe has gone numb. I'm panicking! And to make matters worse, I'm going on a 6 hr flight tomorrow, which panics me even more -- what if I really hurt my back? How will I make it on the flight? How will I make it sleeping in a funky hotel bed?! Then the anger comes in -- how stupid am I?! I know better than to do this. I can't believe I did this to myself, and on the eve of a trip, too!

I am sure I will be OK, but even 10.5 months after my surgery, I freak out over the idea of reherniating my back. Icing it now and taking advil. Fingers crossed.

Progress Report: Week 38

There's been a lot going on these past few weeks, and my back has not been happy about it! I had jury duty, got put on a trial, and that meant a lot of weird chairs and benches. I still can't just sit anywhere (and never on a stool without a back) without pain. Jury duty meant a lot of sitting on wooden benches outside the courtroom down at the L.A. County Courthouse. It was not good for my back. I had burning from my lower back down to my ankle every afternoon. Also downtown, there is a lot of walking, most of it up- (or down-) hill, which probably was both good and bad for my back. So it took me a few days to recover.

Also went to a Dodgers playoff game (good luck tonight boys!) and that meant walking from Sunset up Elysian Park, then up no less than 2,000 flights of stairs to get to the upper seating areas. At least I saved $15 (but more importantly, time -- 15 minutes to walk vs. over an hour sitting in an idling car). And I was taking a photo after the game and stumbled on some warped pavement (anyone who's been there will know what I mean) and fell backwards on my behind, jolting my spine. Ugh, not good. But also not as bad as I thought. It was hard to tell if the pain came from that, jury duty, or the walk. But much better than it would have been had I fallen like this 6 months ago. So it turned out as good as it could, I guess.

So a wee bit of sciatica these days, behind my knee. Some lower back pain. Some advil, though not daily. The entire recovery process is so weird. Here I am, 10 months later, still having problems. That said, a year ago from today I was at home, in bed, barely able to walk and limping like crazy, and on temporary disability from work. What a long way I've come! I have to remind myself this when I get frustrated.

I am still swimming by the way. Not walking much. That will change.

Progress Report: Week 35

Well, things have been harder the past couple of weeks. I think since I have been feeling so good, I think I am well, then do things that remind me that I'm not.

Work has been incredibly stressful, and I think that means more time chained to a desk and not up and walking around. I swear that makes a difference (a bad one).

Also, been swimming. Still only logging in maybe once a week. Not walking as much. I can tell! I am having pain and sciatica.

Swam 1,000 yards last weekend -- about half a mile. I felt great. Then I could feel it the next day. I think that plus the not walking and sitting at a desk pulled a number on me. I have been feeling the crazy weird nerve zaps and quick pains, burning and methodical throbbing again, usually underneath my foot. Felt those a lot when I was first healing. Thought they were gone. Well, like Britney, they're back, bitch. (Or is that "it's Britney, bitch?" Think of it as "It's Your Herniated Disc, Bitch!" then.)

BUT, it is not every day. But it was totally gone and now it's back, sometimes. That is disconcerting.

Then, I did a stupid thing. Someone at work put a "free scanner" in the hallway. This is a several-hundred-dollar professional scanner. I HAD to get it. I did my best using my legs, but after I took it to my cubicle, I knew I'd messed up. Let's just say the ice packs are back in use.

However I am pretty sure that I didn't reherniate, just maybe pulled something. But then the thoughts come flooding into your head, especially when you can't sleep because your back hurts (and because SoCal is in a 100+ temp heat wave, and you have no a/c) and you just think again and again about how dumb you were to pick it up and don't you know better?

But I feel better today, or at least right now. It is just one hell of a process.

Another thing that is freaky is that this week is coming up on my year anniversary on how my back just died. I tried to drive to work one day and couldn't. (Debilitating sciatica.) Then a couple of days later, I couldn't walk for about a day or so. I will never forget having to claw at the wall to try to get to the bathroom. Quite humbling and life-changing stuff.

But again overall I know I am doing great, and better than so many others, and for that I am grateful. It's just a strange thing, this back stuff.

Progress Report: Week 33

Well, my 9 month surgery anniversary just passed this week and I didn't even think of it until now. That is probably a good sign.

Things are going well. Not too different than before really. Overall feeling pretty good. Started having some mild sciatica behind my knee, and some lower back pain, this week but nothing too bad. Taken advil a few times. It seems to be getting better. I might be less numb in my little toe. It's hard to tell.

Continuing to walk and swim a few times a week. I know I keep saying this, but I can't get over how much swimming seems to help. Plus, it's fun too. Hope I can continue through the winter!

Progress Report: Week 31

I am ending my seventh month post-surgery. Overall much less pain. I am still working on becoming more active and I can't stress it enough -- whenever I start to have back pain, if I walk or swim for 30 mins or more, it improves significantly. All I can guess is that it has to do with getting blood into the lower back and to the disc.

One sort of minor thing that is sort of minorly concerning me is that my foot/toe seems to be slightly number than they were say, 6 weeks ago. I am guessing this is nerve damage, but I guess time will tell. I can feel it along the outer edge of my baby toe, and on the sole of my foot a little along the edge and then this strange numb pocket almost in the center of my foot. I am wondering if scar tissue is compressing the nerve, but I don't have any other symptoms so maybe it's just nerve damage. We'll see.

Still having pain when sleeping but I think that is my mattress because I feel fine at work. Suffered a little flare-up this past week but it's getting better. I didn't do anything that I know of, but work has been very stressful and I've been chained to my desk. So that is not helping.

I would like to have child(ren) in the next couple of years. Sometimes I worry that my back problems are going to either keep it from happening or make it very painful. I have read online accounts that plenty of women have the surgery and go on to have normal pregnancies. But then you have to lift your child for what, the next 7 years of their lives? I am just wondering how all of that is going to play out. This is another reason I'm working so hard to lose weight. Still swimming, although not nearly as much as I want to, to strengthen my back. Can't recommend that enough, and it's something I never would have imagined myself doing.

But overall the results are still positive. I am still glad I had the surgery. I still feel I am doing SO much better. I know I am doing better already than many who go through this. I just want to be totally "normal" again. I have to remember that I'm well on my way.

Progress Report: Week 28

It's my seven-month anniversary today. Still feeling pretty good, overall. Still numb in my foot, maybe slightly more numb lately, but not dead-numb. I have been walking and swimming and it helps. As soon as I slack off the back pain returns. Pulled my back slightly trying to vacuum under the bed--something I haven't been able to do since surgery. You don't even want to know what was under there. Scary stuff.

Some pain still when I wake up but I still suspect the bed. Also still whenever I do something, like vacuum, my toe/foot edge goes numb. I suspect it's scar tissue or something compressing the nerve. It might always be that way. I guess it's my body's way of saying, "Cool it!" We'll see how that is by January 2010.

So overall things are good. People think I am totally well though and am pain-free. If only. I am doing everything I can for that day to come, though. I have heard that for every 10 lbs you lose, it's 40 lbs of pressure off of your knees. So what is it like for your back? It has to help. So that is my main goal this month, to some weight. I'd like to try pilates too but I don't feel I'm ready for anything like that. Yet.