Progress Report: Week 23

I had more discomfort and pain this past week, for what I believe were two main reasons. First, I swore off Advil this week. I had been taking it pretty much daily for 5 1/2 months and realized that this might not be the healthiest thing for me, with the side effects of prolonged use and whatnot. So I went cold turkey. And that meant more pain. Usually not too bad, but waking up I'd hurt in my back and have some sciatica issues, a 3-4 on the pain scale I guess. But I also realized that I was not doing my after-work walking consistently. So for the past week or so, I've been walking 1.5 miles/30 minutes around the block every other day. I plan to work up to longer walks, daily. I'm pushing myself a little and walking as briskly as I can, going up hills, etc. It is getting my heart rate up and making me sweat, which is so nice after 10 months of no exercise. I am so out of shape that this walking is totally enough of a workout at this point! (And, I no longer limp when I get tired, which is a huge accomplishment!) But the most exciting part of this is that my pain has diminished tremendously. I think I am adjusting to the no-Advil too. So this is all very exciting. So remember to walk!

What it Was Like, Post-Surgery

After spending those three days in the hospital, I returned home. Here’s where the fun part starts—at least in the hospital people are there to help you. Now the true test would begin. Here are some things that helped me through those first couple of weeks after surgery.

ESSENTIALS:

• A grabber to pick things up off the floor. You will not be able to bend for several weeks after surgery, and these things are a lifesaver. You can find them at chain stores and somesome drugstores.
• Slip-on shoes. I went to far as to buy a black leather tennis/work shoe hybrid before surgery. These could function as tennis shoes but looked nicer, so I could wear them to work even after surgery. I wasn't sure how long it'd be before I could tie shoes again! I also wore crocs (don't judge me!) and did my daily walking in those.
• Some soft loungewear/activewear. It was winter, so I got some soft velour and fleece warm-up suits because I knew I wouldn't be able to wrestle with a pair of jeans. These felt like pajamas, but the matching jacket could fool any neighbors who saw me doing my daily walks and make it look as if I had not been in bed all day.
• Baby wipes. I didn't take a shower for a week. It was just too hard to try to saran-wrap, plus my bathroom has a large old tub with feet. It's a huge old tub in a tiny old apartment. The sides of this tub hit me mid-thigh, I have to step waay up over that to get in. (I used a stool to get up and in after surgery.) Needless to say, my baths were sparse for the first month after surgery. Baby wipes helped with the "instant bird-bath" idea.
• Dry shampoo. You can usually find this in drug stores. See the above as to why I needed it. It was essential!
• A bath scrubber with a handle. When I finally was able to take baths, this came in handy and I just recently retired mine. It keeps you from twisting to bathe your back or the back of your legs.
• A toilet seat riser. I didn’t expect to need this, but after surgery I felt I needed one so I got one on the way home from the hospital. These aren’t cheap but I felt it was worth it for me and my bathroom setup. I was very pleased with it. The handles helped and the extra height kept me from having to bend down as far to sit. I think it is worth the investment, even if it does make your home look a little nursing home-like.
• Putting things in low places beforehand. A few days before surgery, I took a quick visual inventory of my bathroom, kitchen and bedroom, and placed things on counters and places that I could reach without bending. I put clothes out on top of my dresser, and toiletries on shelves waist-high. I even rearranged some food in the pantry and in the fridge so that I wouldn’t have to bend or twist.
• Pillows, pillows, blankets and more pillows. While I couldn’t rest my head on a pillow for a good week after surgery, I put one or two up under my knees and thighs and it took the pressure off of my lower spine. I later used them to prop up various parts of me in various positions, to watch TV or to eat.
• A TV/breakfast tray. A TV tray with legs might have been easier but the one I had had the little short legs. It was very helpful. Mealtimes were tough for a few weeks after surgery because it was so hard to get the setup right or to get comfortable. Again, I live in a very small apartment so there is no dining room table and I ate sitting up on the side of the bed before I graduated to a chair. I also would put books, magazines, pens etc. and this was my “desk” in bed as well.
• Things to read. Because you can only stare at the bedroom ceiling for so long.
  

NOT-AS-ESSENTIAL, BUT SO NICE TO HAVE:

• A laptop computer. I borrowed one from my brother and laid on my back with this resting on my chest. It kept me entertained and in touch with the world. I actually made myself two books, one on shutterfly and one on blurb, while laying on my back recovering from surgery. It was highly entertaining and kept me busy.
• Netflix. I treated myself to a subscription to Netflix and have been quite happy with it.
• A Nintendo DS. I already had this, and it lying flat on your back is a great time to use it.
• Cable TV. To alleviate the boredom.
• A Siamese-mix cat. Because they make the best nurses.
  

Little things were hard. I couldn’t feed the cat or clean her litterbox. Certainly no cleaning of my own. I am glad I had my boyfriend coming over every day to help me out, I have to be honest, it would have been very hard to do this alone. Luckily I got better quickly, and each day was an improvement. I also was on the walking regime that they give every microdiscectomy patient, walking several times a day around my neighborhood. At first this idea of walking so much seemed crazy — I was recovering from surgery, for goodness sake! — but it really did make a huge difference. I could feel awful and achy, walk for 20 minutes, and come back feeling so much better. I kept an excel chart too of how long I went each walk and each day, to make sure I was doing what I needed to be doing. By the end of my initial pre-work recovery period (6 or 7 weeks) I was up to 2-3 miles/day. I waited 7 weeks to return to work, and honestly don’t know how people return after a month or less. Sitting and driving were not easy for me and I was so afraid of returning to work after 7 weeks. Luckily, everything worked out OK!

Progress Report: Week 22

This weekend marked my five-month surgery anniversary. Wow! I am actually looking forward to July's anniversary date, since it will be six months. I am not sure why. Perhaps because when things were rough, I'd tell myself, "Things will be different in six months. It'll be summer. I'll be back at work. I'll probably have lost 30 lbs. It'll be great!" Well, maybe that's not all 100% true, but things are going pretty good overall. I'm noticing that my toe and side of foot is barely numb most of the time, and I can very briefly go up on my toes on my "bad" side. I don't feel quite as gnarled and tight on my left side. I've had some pain though lately that reminds me that I did have surgery 22 weeks ago. The other morning my back was hurting when I woke up. It was the first time I had realized that while the pain is substantially better than it was -- substantially! -- there still is not a day where I am 100% pain-free. There is barely a day when I don't take Advil. And then add in the pain before and that puts me at about 12 months where I didn't feel some pain every day. But -- and this but is important -- the pain is so much less than it used to be. I'm talking a 1 or 2 here. Sometimes I still have sciatica issues. In the evenings after work and after cooking dinner it can hurt. After I cleaned the bathroom it hurt pretty good. But then I lie down, ice it, and the next morning I am pretty much fine. I think that is progress! So overall I am optimistic that I will eventually be OK.

Things I Used to Try to Heal My Back

I tried many things to heal my back and avoid surgery. Many were helpful, but just couldn't heal a 15mm herniation. Some were helpful after surgery, too.

• Turmeric. This stuff is in Indian food and is supposed to be good for inflammation. Continued this until a month or so after surgery. Verdict: Might Have Worked
• Fish Oil. Also good for inflammation and safe. Cheaper ones taste a little fishy, so I got some "nice" ones from Whole Foods. Cost way too much. Verdict: Might Have Worked
• Advil. My drug of choice to this day. Chose it due to the anti-inflammation properties. Verdict: Worked
• Anti-Inflammatory Diet. Obviously I was hitting on a common theme here -- anti-inflammation. I did feel a little better when I ate this way. I have also read anecdotal accounts online that when certain people eat junk and fast food, it makes their pain worse. I think that is true with me, even now. Verdict: Might Have Worked
• Prescription Pain Killers. In those worst days, they gave me what I think was vicodin and ibuprofen to keep me from pulling my hair out. I took it maybe two weeks, probably less. I just hated the pain killers. I felt like I was being poisoned. Plus there are an array of nasty side effects like extreme constipation that make it not alluring. What I was surprised to find out was that it just dulled the pain, never took it away. I never felt happy or high or anything either. So why did that guy at the keg parties in college insist that vicodin was a terrific high? I don't get it. Verdict: Didn't Work
  
• Glucosamine. This is the stuff generally marketed to old people for knee pain, etc. It is supposed to help rebuild cartilage. I already had some so thought I'd try it. Verdict: Probably Didn't Work
• Electrical Stimulation. Part of PT. They stuck electrodes all over me and hooked me up to this machine that sent little vibrations to the pads. Didn't seem to help pain. Verdict: Did Not Work
• Ultrasound. Yes, I thought this was just for pregnant ladies too. Put a gooey cold gel on my back and then ran this lightly vibrating wand thing over it. Didn't seem to help pain. Verdict: Did Not Work
• Traction. Eek. See previous post for details. Verdict: Did Not Work, Made Pain Worse
  
• Massage. See last entry. Didn't seem to help pain. Verdict: Did Not Work
• Steroid Epidurals. Had two. Ugh. Verdict: Did Not Work But Gave a Very Slight Reprieve in Pain
  
• Various Stretching Exercises. From the incompetent PT lady. Would probably help in a different situation. Verdict: Did Not Work
• Weight Machine. Also in PT. Not sure this was the best idea to do with a "massively" herniated disc. Verdict: Did Not Work
• Elevating My Legs. To this day I still have not bought a wedge pillow. To this day I still want one. I will get one. In the meantime, I prop my legs up on two pillows. Not as good, but better than nothing, especially in those early days. Takes some of the pressure off of the base of my spine. Verdict: Worked
• Wearing Better Shoes. Early on, I hoped that better shoes would help. I ditched my $10 Target flats with no cushioning and got some better shoes. This coulda helped had it not been herniated. I will continue to wear good shoes from now on, though. Verdict: Helped, But Couldn't Heal It
  
• Cold Therapy/Ice Packs. My favorite thing to do to this day is to ice my back. Seems to be a lot of back-and-forth about heat vs. ice, but when you're going for anti-inflammation, ice wins. Verdict: Works Great
• Heating Pads. Worked when I felt my upper back start to spasm. But overall not my go-to. Also, there is something about not following ice with heat (or vice versa). Stick with one and stay with it, at least for a day. Verdict: Can Help
  
• Asking My Dreams For Help. That kooky doctor suggested I try this -- and I did! Sadly, my subconscious was out frolicing with Lorenzo Lamas (back in the Renegade era) and did not get back to me on this issue. Oddly enough, she was a size 6 in this vision as well. And she could fly. Verdict: Lorenzo Lamas looked better when he was younger
• Swimming with Green Sea Turtles. During all of this mess, I had a nonrefundable ticket to Oahu. I went and limped the entire way. In the meantime, I saw no less than 4 sea turtles, and even came nose-to-nose with one while attempting to snorkel without bending. It was worth all the pain I was feeling! Seeing a sea turtle is supposed to be good luck, and represents healing. Or so the woman at the snorkel shop told me. Verdict: Total Success!

What I Did NOT Try

• Chiropractor. OMG. I can not tell you how many times people told me to "just go to a chiropractor." I am sure they help some people. But I just knew that any manipulation of my already blown-out L5-S1 disc would be catastrophic. It just was not for me. It bothered me that so many people kept telling me to just go to one, as if I was being foolish for not believing that one could heal me. I was even told that a person's chiropractor had cured her toothache by adjusting her back, so surely he could fix this "back pain" problem. (Not to mention my main problems were leg and reflex issues, not just "back pain"!) I am glad I didn't go. Perhaps for smaller herniations, this would work. But not for mine.
• Yoga. Dude. No. I did appreciate all the advice, but this sounded like the second worst possible thing that I could do (after the chiropractor). Again, like the chiropractor, I'm sure it could help some with disc bulges or something less serious. It'd probably be good for me post-surgery. But not good at my most hurt.
  
• Witch Doctor/Voo Doo/Hoo Doo. Only on my "not tried" list because New Orleans is so far away.
  

Progress Report: Week 19

Doing OK this week. 19 weeks! I finished up PT this week. Went about 11 times I think? More than I needed to, but I enjoyed going, the therapist didn't mind and the HMO approved extra sessions so why not? Sad to not continue but I know it's that time. What a difference a facility makes! The last place, before surgery, sucked. Hated the therapist. They were big on massage, electrotherapy and sonograms. Helped a little. But once that herniation started growing (no doubt helped along by their idiotic full-body-weight-on-the-elbow right over the disc massages!) nothing would help. They put me on a rickety traction machine that was frayed and worn -- looked totally like something from the Museum of Death! -- and I had a panic attack. My therapist was busy on the other side of the room, you know, surfing the Web, and the idea of embarrassing myself by yelling out to her more than once somehow helped me keep it together for the full 10 minutes. Ugh that place sucked. She would also give me this horrible massage on the butt (for sciatica, but what she thought was a pulled hamstring/butt muscle pull--I think that is known clinically as buttmusclepullitis) and would pull down my shorts to do it, even after I asked her not to. Why this was particularly embarrassing was because I wasn't in a room, we were in these little bays like in the ER, separated only by a flimsy curtain that you could not only see (and hear) through, but even sometimes see someone's head poking out one end! And often there would be men next to me and it was just humiliating. Now that I think back, I don't know why I didn't raise more hell. I believe I was just tired and so freaking hurt and upset and just kept hoping she knew what she was doing. Sadly, she didn't. On the up side, I'll never let someone make me uncomfortable like that again, and will have a more active role in my health care. Ugh though.

Anyway.... things are OK. Still having some back pain and sciatica but not too bad. Still taking advil daily, but only 2 total a day most of the time. Still screwing around and not doing my stretches, exercises and walking. But I'm working on that, just got back from a nice brisk walk. :)

What Surgery Was Like Pt II

First, read Part I of my microdiscectomy/laminectomy surgery description.

They wheeled me in to the OR. I was pretty scared, I have to admit, and couldn't keep from crying. There was a flurry of activity, with the anesthesiologist, nurses, etc. I looked up from the gurney and remember that the ceiling of the room was painted black. I saw all the lights and people wearing masks standing over me -- it was just like a scene from a movie. Holy crap, I think they were readying themselves to lift me onto the operating table! What if I am awake through all of this?! What if I wake up during it?!

.... And that's all I remember.

I woke myself up moaning. I came to in a huge room filled with beds and other moaners. A bored looking young woman -- was she a teenager? -- was sitting in a chair watching me. I pass back out. I remember being very determined to come back to, because one of the admission staff or nurses or someone had told me that recovery often took several hours, and that if it takes too long, for some reason you don't get a room immediately and have to wait several hours in the recovery room . Or something. I can't really remember. But I know I wanted to wake the hell up and get into a room as fast as possible.

At some point I felt someone pull a curved pipe out of my mouth and throat. What the HELL!? It didn't feel great. They wheeled me into my room -- luckily all the rooms on the orthopedic wing at this hospital are private -- yahoo! It's kind of hazy, but I do remember most of it -- they had an oxygen tube in my nose and some sort of weird things wrapped around my lower legs -- like leg warmers that inflated and deflated continuously. Apparently this was to prevent blood clots. I was hooked up to an IV and it was much more complicated than the one during the epidural. This one had some funky plastic casing and wasn't coming out on it's own, buddy. I have to say, this surgery was much, much more involved and heavy-duty than I expected. I was a little shocked. They make it sound so simple. (I truly can't understand volunteering for surgery now after going through this -- lap bands? New boobs? No thanks!) I also was hooked up to a morphine machine and had a little button that I could click to give myself more morphine.

The nurse told me to not worry about how many times I pushed the button. It was set up so that I couldn't take too much. So push away. And I did. Whenever I started to feel pain, I'd push the button. But I think in my confused state I really didn't know what I was doing too much (although I thought I did -- would love to hear a recording of some those early phone calls I made to my family!) and had plenty of morphine. Too much for me, anyway.

My boyfriend leaves for the night and I fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night to silhouettes of nurses coming in and out of my room, checking on me. At one point someone asks me when the last time I peed was. It had been, I don't know, about 17 or so hours? Uh oh. Apparently that was not good. They tried to get me up to go and when I went to sit up is when I really realized that I had had surgery. I felt as if I had fallen off a roof and landed on my back (or, what I imagine that would feel like.) I was stiff and sore and in pain from my shoulders down past my butt. They pushed a walker with a toilet seat on it over to the bed, but I just couldn't go. Something about two strangers sitting there watching was just a little too much for me. I've always had public bathroom performance anxiety, so they left. But I still couldn't go. The nurse said that in some people, morphine can cause urinary retention. Um, great. Why didn't someone tell me this before? I woulda laid off the morphine. I was so used to being in pain anyway by that point, what's a little more? So they had to give me a catheter. Trust me, it sucked!

Now it was daybreak. Now the sickness was setting in. Apparently, I do not respond well to morphine. It felt like I had the worst flu imaginable -- headache, hot, chills, dizzy, nausea. It was horrible. I was so sick. I was supposed to go home that day, but ended up staying another night and another full day -- three days total. Lord. They gave me codeine in morphine's place. Guess what? They made me start throwing up. It was so awful. By the second night they let me have some chicken broth but I was too sick to eat it.

Around this time, the second night, is where there was a small-to-mediumish earthquake, a 4.5. This was particularly freaky because I had been half-joking saying that it sure would suck for there to be an earthquake while my surgeon was doing his thing. Yikes!

I awoke feeling much better. They let me have jello! Eventually I was able to leave the hospital. The drive home was brutal. Every bump the car went over sent a jolt of pain up my spine. It was very upsetting, but I made it home.

I would not leave my apartment or shower for a week. After which I would not leave my apartment (except for my daily walking regime around the block) for about a month. Luckily, I had a little siamese-mix cat as my nurse. She kept a constant bedside vigil during those weeks. I could not sit and couldn't use a pillow to sleep on.

I took some of the Darvocet they gave me, and either it or the steroid pack made me break out in hives on my face. I came home from the hospital Friday night. By Sunday I had quit taking all painkillers -- "F this!" were my exact words. It just wasn't worth the sickness. I pulled out my drug of choice, advil, and just took a shitload. It worked. I haven't taken any painkillers since.

Gosh, I've come a long way!

Progress Report: Week 18 & Milestones

Well, I just hit the four month mark. I've been back at work for about 2.5 months. I am doing pretty good. Really good when I realize it's only been four months! I still have flare-ups of back pain and sciatica, and have been having some lately, but they are no where near the intensity of the earlier ones. I am no longer obsessing over reherniating my back. I have also slipped back into some bad habits, like not doing my 1 mile walk after work and slouching at my desk at work and crossing my legs when I sit. I promise myself to work on that.

Went to the surgeon last week, for the first time since January. He had me bend over and do a few push tests and determined that I was just fine (or will be). He told me that if I ever have problems in the future, to give him a call. The end. No more appointments. Wow! It's that simple? I'm not complaining by any means, but it was just sorta surprising. But he's right, I am getting better. I am also wrapping up PT next week, been about 10 times. Love it and love my therapist! Such a difference from the old facility. I love going, and work has to let me go, so it's a nice break in the middle of the day. My therapist is very encouraging, and that goes a long way. I never thought about it before, but just hearing that I'm doing great from him really helps.

Also, my foot/baby toe numbness is slowly going away. It is almost not numb at times! It has been numb for about 9 months. The surgeon told me give it a full 12 months. When I do certain things, like sweep the kitchen or clean the cat's litterbox, my toe will suddenly go numb. The surgeon said it's likely scar tissue plus the nerve itself, since it's still not healed. (Nerves heal at a rate of fractions of an inch per month -- that's slow!) I wonder if that will always be like that. Time will tell.

I also reached a very important personal milestone (no, not my 36th birthday a few days ago!) -- I can sorta go up on my toes on my "bad" side. I can't hold my weight very long, but I actually can push up onto my toes on that side, albeit briefly. It really is a miracle! You don't realize how much that little reflex, whatever it is called, is involved in. You can't really run, or when I squat down to look at something, say on the bottom shelf at a store, I can't keep my balance (still can't). It's all very strange. But exciting to be seeing changes, finally!