Progress Report: 1.5 Years

It's been a year and a half since my surgery. Things are better. I'm still not 100 percent. I might not ever be. But I'm close. Ninety percent I'd guess. Still have some numbness in my foot and little toe, I guess it's nerve damage. But not dead numb like it used to be.

Currently undergoing a little setback -- good news is that they are fewer and farther between. But I did a number on myself this time. I think it is a strain or pulled muscle though, and not disc-related. I was sweeping and cleaning the kitchen, doing a bunch of bending and twisting, and then when I went for the dust pan, BAM. Ouch. Stabbing pain on the right of my spine (my "bad" side is my left). Stood up and was in excruciating pain. I've heard of people hurting their backs this way ("suddenly") but that had never been the case for me -- mine came on gradually over the course of several months.

I instantly felt pain in my upper right thigh, and, thinking it meant this was disc-related, freaked out. I have read so many accounts of people herniating the remaining disc on the other, "good" side that I was afraid this had happened. I envisioned a second microdiscectomy, followed by a disc replacement (due to no disc material left!) and then a lifetime of chronic pain and back problems -- not a life I want to ever lead. I've read the message board postings and talked to some of these poor people and it's not somewhere anyone wants to go.

I have been icing my back and taking a non-steroid anti-inflammatory and two days later feel much, much better. It still hurts. But not in the leg and I don't think it's a disc problem anymore. It feels like a strain from back all the way around my side. More reason to get that core into shape.

Which is hard, getting your core into shape. I am exercising -- swimming and walking -- but not doing any core stuff. It's hard when it's so easy to hurt yourself. Yet it's something you gotta do in order to quit hurting yourself. If this most recent mishap ever heals, I swear I will get more serious about some core work. It's gotta be done.

Progress Report: Week 58

I've been a little on the lazy side the past two or three months. Not exercising. Gaining a few pounds. And guess what -- it makes you feel horrible! Some weak sciatica returning, more numbing of my foot/toe, back pain -- none of it major, but just enough to make me feel like crap. So a little over a week ago, I got back in the saddle, watching calories (already lost a pound!) and most importantly, exercising. Briskly walking for 30 mins several days a week, and yesterday I swam laps. I had not swam since early December, and let me tell you, I was exhausted last night! And starving still today! So that lets me know my metabolism is going. And sure enough, after just a week, my back/sciatica problems are already subsiding. Even the numbness is a little less numb. It is amazing how much physical activity helps, like I keep saying. I think it increases the blood flow to the lower back, which doesn't usually get a lot of it. Now I am ready to start strengthening my core and back muscles through exercise, yoga, etc. I will still put a hold on the super-strenuous aerobics I used to do -- this walking seems to be enough for now.

Progress Report: Week 52

Happy New Year! But it's also another important milestone for me...

It's my one year anniversary since my surgery! This is quite a big accomplishment. What a difference a year makes. A year ago I was in the hospital sick as a dog from the morphine. About to go home and not shower for two weeks. Barely move around my house. Yikes!

I am doing so much better. I still am not 100%. But I'm in the 80s or 90s I'd guess. Probably 90s. Lately having some minor aches and sciatica, but nothing bad enough to take advil for. So that's a good sign. With winter and the holidays, I've slacked off on my walking and exercising routine, which is probably why I'm having a little trouble. I always do so much better after I walk. It's when I don't exercise that I get sore -- counter-intuitive I know.

I am still slightly numb on my "bad foot," in the baby toe and in a spot on the underside of the foot. No where near like it was last year. The surgeon told me it'd take a year to clear up. I suspect it might be nerve damage. It isn't badly numb, but the numbness just never completely goes away. My limping is completely gone and has been for 9 or 10 months. I am doing pretty great overall, I gotta say.

Last year this time my new year's resolution was to just get through the healing process. I was so afraid the surgery hadn't worked since I didn't see instant improvement like so many anonymous people on the internet claim to see. That's OK, it worked. I'm glad I did it.

My resolution this year will be to strengthen my back. My physical therapist advised me to avoid high impact and weights for at least a year. It's been a year but I'm not ready to go back to that yet. I plan on doing a lot of low impact stuff like continuing to walk and swim, and to do exercises to strengthen my back muscles. I feel weak there, I probably am. I also want to take a "yoga for a healthy back" type of class this year. Where I used to do high impact aerobics and elliptical machines, I now plan to work on resistance type stuff like yoga and pilates. Perhaps a balance ball or something. Get more use out of that gym membership I won't cancel.

It's so weird to think about how upset I was a year ago. I really was not 110% sure I was making the right decision to have surgery, since my pain had leased (but my limp had worsened). I made the right decision. I am so much better than I would have been had I tried to wait for it to heal on it's own. Not to mention I'd probably always have a limp. So I am glad I did it.

What a year it's been. I've learned a lot of things about myself, about surgery, about backs, about chronic pain. I hope that by taking charge of my health and weight I can avoid future back problems. Working on it, anyway. Here's to a healthy back in 2010!

Two Steps Back

Well, I was just lifting up some huge plastic storage containers outside of my house and moving them around. I knew I didn't need to lift them -- how heavy were they, anyway? 10, 15, 20 lbs? -- but I was in a hurry and trying to clean something up quickly. Well, that was 45 minutes ago and I am feeling it, buddy. My toe has gone numb. I'm panicking! And to make matters worse, I'm going on a 6 hr flight tomorrow, which panics me even more -- what if I really hurt my back? How will I make it on the flight? How will I make it sleeping in a funky hotel bed?! Then the anger comes in -- how stupid am I?! I know better than to do this. I can't believe I did this to myself, and on the eve of a trip, too!

I am sure I will be OK, but even 10.5 months after my surgery, I freak out over the idea of reherniating my back. Icing it now and taking advil. Fingers crossed.

Progress Report: Week 38

There's been a lot going on these past few weeks, and my back has not been happy about it! I had jury duty, got put on a trial, and that meant a lot of weird chairs and benches. I still can't just sit anywhere (and never on a stool without a back) without pain. Jury duty meant a lot of sitting on wooden benches outside the courtroom down at the L.A. County Courthouse. It was not good for my back. I had burning from my lower back down to my ankle every afternoon. Also downtown, there is a lot of walking, most of it up- (or down-) hill, which probably was both good and bad for my back. So it took me a few days to recover.

Also went to a Dodgers playoff game (good luck tonight boys!) and that meant walking from Sunset up Elysian Park, then up no less than 2,000 flights of stairs to get to the upper seating areas. At least I saved $15 (but more importantly, time -- 15 minutes to walk vs. over an hour sitting in an idling car). And I was taking a photo after the game and stumbled on some warped pavement (anyone who's been there will know what I mean) and fell backwards on my behind, jolting my spine. Ugh, not good. But also not as bad as I thought. It was hard to tell if the pain came from that, jury duty, or the walk. But much better than it would have been had I fallen like this 6 months ago. So it turned out as good as it could, I guess.

So a wee bit of sciatica these days, behind my knee. Some lower back pain. Some advil, though not daily. The entire recovery process is so weird. Here I am, 10 months later, still having problems. That said, a year ago from today I was at home, in bed, barely able to walk and limping like crazy, and on temporary disability from work. What a long way I've come! I have to remind myself this when I get frustrated.

I am still swimming by the way. Not walking much. That will change.

Progress Report: Week 35

Well, things have been harder the past couple of weeks. I think since I have been feeling so good, I think I am well, then do things that remind me that I'm not.

Work has been incredibly stressful, and I think that means more time chained to a desk and not up and walking around. I swear that makes a difference (a bad one).

Also, been swimming. Still only logging in maybe once a week. Not walking as much. I can tell! I am having pain and sciatica.

Swam 1,000 yards last weekend -- about half a mile. I felt great. Then I could feel it the next day. I think that plus the not walking and sitting at a desk pulled a number on me. I have been feeling the crazy weird nerve zaps and quick pains, burning and methodical throbbing again, usually underneath my foot. Felt those a lot when I was first healing. Thought they were gone. Well, like Britney, they're back, bitch. (Or is that "it's Britney, bitch?" Think of it as "It's Your Herniated Disc, Bitch!" then.)

BUT, it is not every day. But it was totally gone and now it's back, sometimes. That is disconcerting.

Then, I did a stupid thing. Someone at work put a "free scanner" in the hallway. This is a several-hundred-dollar professional scanner. I HAD to get it. I did my best using my legs, but after I took it to my cubicle, I knew I'd messed up. Let's just say the ice packs are back in use.

However I am pretty sure that I didn't reherniate, just maybe pulled something. But then the thoughts come flooding into your head, especially when you can't sleep because your back hurts (and because SoCal is in a 100+ temp heat wave, and you have no a/c) and you just think again and again about how dumb you were to pick it up and don't you know better?

But I feel better today, or at least right now. It is just one hell of a process.

Another thing that is freaky is that this week is coming up on my year anniversary on how my back just died. I tried to drive to work one day and couldn't. (Debilitating sciatica.) Then a couple of days later, I couldn't walk for about a day or so. I will never forget having to claw at the wall to try to get to the bathroom. Quite humbling and life-changing stuff.

But again overall I know I am doing great, and better than so many others, and for that I am grateful. It's just a strange thing, this back stuff.

Progress Report: Week 33

Well, my 9 month surgery anniversary just passed this week and I didn't even think of it until now. That is probably a good sign.

Things are going well. Not too different than before really. Overall feeling pretty good. Started having some mild sciatica behind my knee, and some lower back pain, this week but nothing too bad. Taken advil a few times. It seems to be getting better. I might be less numb in my little toe. It's hard to tell.

Continuing to walk and swim a few times a week. I know I keep saying this, but I can't get over how much swimming seems to help. Plus, it's fun too. Hope I can continue through the winter!